So in the past week a lot has happened. By chance I saw that someone was reselling their Guilty Feminist tickets so I got them for a good price and it was an amazing night which I will write more about on another post, as well as how wonderful Liminal 11’s launch party was. All of it has been amazing, I even did my first Cube of truth on Saturday (I was late but I got there!).
The only problem is that I am not so good, I had depression all throughout my final year of university and since then I have been a bit on the anxious side. Kind of waiting for it to just creep back in. Ergo I have read quite a lot of self help books, tried to do lots of healthy things and explored what is self love. A note on self improvement: One must be careful to not just get too caught up on it and become afraid of letting go and living life.
I was lucky that my university had a good counselling team and I got help which allowed me to actually finish my degree. I learnt a lot from therapy but the biggest thing I learnt is that therapy is good even when you haven’t reached rock bottom, its even better because then you can prevent hitting rock bottom! Had I gone at the end of my second year and got help I might have had a more enjoyable last year of uni. But I learnt and since then I have gotten better at noticing patterns and when I should reach out for help.
Since uni I have had therapy and then I felt like my then therapist couldn’t really do much more so I stopped the sessions. Since a year has gone by and now I am going through another stressful time and this time I am going to try schema therapy which a friend told me about and it just makes sense with all the reading I have done (mainly the book “they f*** you up”). So the take away from this is that everyone can benefit from some therapy so don’t feel like its a shameful thing or that you have to be or feel a certain way for you to qualify for help. Its sort of like how we are suppose to go to the dentist even when everything is ok for a check up but instead a mental hygienist! … much better than a teeth hygienist, I have only gone once and oh was it horrible. Mental well being and its importance is something that wasn’t always talked about so most of us have some unresolved childhood issues that could be good take out of the attic and dust of and sort through.
I decided that I was no longer going to lie to myself about booking those gym classes and then going to them so I cancelled my gym membership and instead I am giving 10 euros every month to Mino Valley sanctuary on their website and chose Luna because my best friend was called Luna, she was a ferret and she passed away many years but I dream a lot and she’s just chilling with me in my dreams. I also give an euro monthly to them in their pattern because then you get more snaps of the cute animals and I also saw that Blue Ollis was on I am backing her with 2 euros a month. It is very little and I almost didn’t because it seemed so little but like Asda says every little helps. Whilst I was on patron I toyed with the idea of creating one but felt I don’t, I guess afraid. Afraid of putting myself out there even thought I get daily messages from people on instagram telling me how much my art means to them, I still don’t really believe it or value it and that is something that I have to work on. So I decided that I would do it as an exercise of kind of giving fear the middle finger. I also thought that it would be fun to create downloadable files and other random bits. Still getting the hang of it so if you have any ideas then please let me know 🙂